No word on how this will affect motor vehicle traffic from Portsmouth to Maine or what this will do to the already ghostly downtown Kittery. But one can guess the Kittery local with his beard growing past his knees, will remained seated in his lawn chair enjoying his ‘smokes.’
“God dammit, did this happen while I was napping?” Memorial Bridge dweller ‘Stanley’ said after he heard the announcement concerning his home. “Seriously, what year is it?”
It seems the only shock today can be heard from Kitterians, decked out in “SAVE THE BRIDGE” paraphernalia.
“I can’t believe they actually bothered to inspect the bridge. I mean, have you seen it?” Toothless Mary Hardwell said. “We’re all lucky it stayed open this long. Just the other day my family of turtles and I were baking brownies in honor of the bridge still bein’ open.”
The connection of busy Portsmouth, NH to Maine has been a value to small businesses in Kittery for decades.
“Ayup, there’s the pizza joint, that bar we go to, the two barber shops and Hank.” Joe Dubuc said of the harm this will do to the part of Kittery that is still gripping onto the bank of the Piscataqua River.
The unanimous response of Portsmouth locals and small business owners, “Ok. Wait…can we still take pictures of it from Prescott Park and stuff?”
Tags: closing, concerns, inspection, Memorial Bridge, Seacoast Online, shock, Stanley, toothless Mary Hardwell, turtles
