Not-so-shocking news: Memorial Bridge closes

27 Jul
No surprise to Portsmouth locals, starting today, the 88 year-old Memorial Bridge is now closed “permanently.” Or until someone is ready to fork up the $90 mil needed for repairs.
Top Photo
File Photo by Rich Beauchesne

No word on how this will affect motor vehicle traffic from Portsmouth to Maine or what this will do to the already ghostly downtown Kittery. But one can guess the Kittery local with his beard growing past his knees, will remained seated in his lawn chair enjoying his ‘smokes.’

Seacoast Online stated “The bridge will not reopen until a new replacement bridge is in place. The Memorial Bridge has already been closed to traffic since 9 a.m. Wednesday, July 27, as part of a second day of scheduled mechanical inspections.”

“God dammit, did this happen while I was napping?” Memorial Bridge dweller ‘Stanley’ said after he heard the announcement concerning his home. “Seriously, what year is it?”

According to WMUR, Transportation Commissioner George Campbell said he had hoped to keep the bridge open for several more months, but it became clear it was no longer safe to drive across the 88-year-old bridge. “Deterioration of the truss joints is particularly problematic, but the entire bridge has reached a point of deterioration that makes its permanent closure unavoidable,” Campbell said.

It seems the only shock today can be heard from Kitterians, decked out in “SAVE THE BRIDGE” paraphernalia.

“I can’t believe they actually bothered to inspect the bridge. I mean, have you seen it?” Toothless Mary Hardwell said. “We’re all lucky it stayed open this long. Just the other day my family of turtles and I were baking brownies in honor of the bridge still bein’ open.”

The connection of busy Portsmouth, NH to Maine has been a value to small businesses in Kittery for decades.

“Ayup, there’s the pizza joint, that bar we go to, the two barber shops and Hank.” Joe Dubuc said of the harm this will do to the part of Kittery that is still gripping onto the bank of the Piscataqua River.

The unanimous response of Portsmouth locals and small business owners, “Ok. Wait…can we still take pictures of it from Prescott Park and stuff?”

“Improv Action: Christopher Klemmer”

25 Jul

Our very own Christopher Klemmer featured in the

Portsmouth Herald :

Photo by Eric Kilby

“At first it was very intimidating, I just hadn’t done it in so long, and it was almost like it was brand new again. But once you make the connection with people — with improv that changes everything. It makes it so much easier, when you trust the people you’re working with.”

“He realized one week in comedy was back in his life to stay. “And by the last class I was frantic about how I was going to keep that going.”

 

Read the entire article here: Improv Action by Jeanne McCartin

Friday Feature: Laura Thomas!

15 Jul

Maybe you saw her perform last weekend; here is Laura sharing a little bit about herself…

If you could live in any country (outside of the US) what would it be? Probably Spain, because I love how passionate flamenco music is. Or maybe France, because I like the word baguette. Or maybe Middle Earth because Aragorn is hot.

Who’s the best superhero and why? I only know of a couple superheroes.  I always enjoy the villains and their “evil” plans more. I mean, what’s the point of overtaking Gotham, anyway?

How cool is Nell Carter and why does Chris look so much like her? I have no idea who Nell Carter is, but since she’s compared to Chris, she’s probably really, really ancient looking.

What’s the nicest thing you ever did for anyone? I adopted my dog from a shelter. She was the only one I wasn’t afraid of. She’s pretty spoiled.

What’s the meanest thing you ever did to anyone? How much time do you have?

What is your favorite part about Portsketch? Portsketch was created solely so that I would have something to talk about other than my dogs.

What would the movie about your life be called? Mocha and Cellulite: The Laura Thomas Story.

What would the sequel to that movie be called? How To Live To Be 1,000 or This Is What It Looks Like When You Never Sleep, Kids.

TONIGHT don’t miss out on sketch comedy from Portsketch at 10:30pm at the Players’ Ring!

You need to see our special guests: an impression from Kevin Baringer, music from new band Music By Folks, and tap dancing from Angela Grassie!

Stay up late tonight!

IT’S OUR LAST WEEKEND!

14 Jul

Come join us for our last weekend at the Players’ Ring!!!

July 15th through 17th

Friday and Saturday at 10:30pm

Sunday at 9:30pm

Learn more here:

“Portsketch is a sketch comedy group that is made up of New Hampshire comedians who have a variety of comedy, dramatic and improv training in Chicago, Boston and in New Hampshire. Portsketch is made up of Christopher Klemmer, Laura Thomas, Mo Conley, Shawn Crapo, Brian Kelly and Michelle Blouin.

The shows will feature a different musical act each night which will include Barbara Gomes, Music By Folks, and Matthew Meserve.

Throughout the run of the show will include a variety of special performances by Kevin Baringer, Sam Bennett and E. Christopher Clark.

Co-Founder Christopher Klemmer was “thrilled to see how many different Seacoast performers wanted to do this with us. Everyone involved has been a blast to work with and I think that will show on stage.”

Each show will also feature a different combination of comedy sketches with several sketches only appearing once through the run of shows. Klemmer says this was done “to bring Portsmouth a totally different bang for their entertainment buck. For just about the cost of a movie ticket, you are getting live comedy, live music and more. If you come back the next night, you’ll get a different show.”

Hot off the press…sort of…

13 Jul

Oh look, we’re in the Union Leader!

Photo by Jasmin Hunter Photography

 

“Portsketch, a sketch comedy group comprised of New Hampshire comedians, will present a half dozen shows from Friday, July 8, through Sunday, July 17, at The Player’s Ring, 105 Marcy St., Portsmouth. The shows are part of theLate Night Summer Series and will start at 10:30 p.m.

on Fridays and Saturdays and 9:30 p.m. Sundays. The comedy-sketch shows will feature a different musical act each night, and also will include special performances by Stranger Than Fiction, Kevin Baringer, Sam Bennett and E.

Christopher Clark. Tickets are $10-$12. For more information, log onto playersring.org or call 436-8123. Shown above, Shawn Crapo, Michelle Blouin, Mo Conley, Brian Kelly and Christopher Klemmer feed fellow troupe member Laura Thomas to the sharks.”

 

Coming up…

12 Jul

 If you’ve seen one, you have not seen them all!

 

THIS WEEKEND:

NH Storyteller E. Christopher Clark

A family friendly sketch by John Herman

You’ll bearly be able to contain your laughs with a sketch by Steve Johnson

Music from talented, Barbara Gomes

Stand-up from Sam Bennett

An impression from Kevin Baringer

Music from Music By Folks

sketches, wigs, and more…

Portsketch has enjoyed being a part of the Late Night Summer Series at The Players’ Ring !

Want to have your seat just for you and not miss out on any of our LAST THREE shows? Though so. Start stocking up on tickets now, go to The Players’ Ring Online Box Office or call (603) 436-8123 today!

Dates: July 15th – July 17th

Times: Fri/Sat 10:30pm, Sun 9:30 pm

TONIGHT at 9:30pm

10 Jul

As you all know, today is Beatles Day! So to honor such a historic day, Portsketch will premiere our favorite sketch all about John Lennon.

Shawn as John Lennon, posing with the real Yoko

Beatles Day celebrates The Beatles‘ triumphant return on 10 July 1964 from their US tour to Liverpool, just in time for the premiere of their film A Hard Day’s Night. This day is considered one of the landmarks in their rise to fame, and since 2008 its anniversary has been celebrated as Beatles Day in both Liverpool and Hamburg, the cities where the Fab Four laid the foundations for their stardom.” -Wikipedia

ALSO TONIGHT Portsketch is pleased to have Kevin Baringer and Barbara Gomes as our special guests!!!

                                      

See you at the Players’ Ring at 9:30pm!